As an addendum to an earlier post, here is a continuation on my 'Best Seller' book propsal....
So. I am going to write a book and call it “Conversations with a Rokstar”. This is my life with this guy who makes me laugh my ass off … pretty much EVERY day.
- Chapter One: Why the
Dead Sea is going to dry up by next Tuesday. - Chapter Two: In the Zombie Apocalypse, don’t expect me to save your ass because your refusal to watch scary movies leaves you uneducated.
- Chapter Three: Next decade, when we are all dead and gone and only the wild animals remain, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- Chapter Four: The eleventh commandment – Thou shalt not cover thine sandwich – a commentary on open faced buns at church functions.
- Chapter Five: Hey. This chicken looks like a vagina.
- Chapter Six: I married you for your hot ass, I didn’t know you were a princess.
- Chapter Seven: The only reason to become a doctor is for the naked chicks and the nice car… maybe I will become a pimp.
- Chapter Eight: My testicles are huge today. I think I will spend my day riding around on the back of a Dodge 4X4.
- Chapter Nine: I’ve been working hard on my number one hit – “I’ve got youuuuu… tied up in my basement.”
… More to come …
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Update: ...as promised...
- Chapter Ten: Rokstar talks about his teenage years: no mom, I am not gay... I'm just a looser.
- Chapter Eleven: Self Help Rokstar style: "Honey, we're good... Some of the greatest minds in the world were fucked up."
- Chapter Twelve: Reading between the lines: "Miss Independence ... By Kelly Clarkson was actually meant to be titled 'Jeremy Kornel, I don't know you but I totally want you' "
- Chapter Thirteen: Observations on current teenage attire: "I think all the male teachers at the high school must be gay."
- Chapter Fourteen: Life coaching RS style: "Honey let me be clear about his intentions- there two types of men in this world, the men who would sleep with you, and then there are the gays."
- Chapter Fifteen: "Wow... I can't even see that guy." - things one must say EVERYTIME they encounter someone wearing camouflage.
- Chapter Sixteen: Bird Calls 101: 'I'm just talking to the birds, except I scared them away... I think I may have mastered the call of their enemy, either that or I just said "hey you sure got a purdy beak" in bird language *hums the theme to deliverance* "
... Still more to come I am sure... :)